I am very proud to say I am the grandson of Delores "Dorothy" McDaniels! I say that cause I know I was a very difficult and uncontrollable teenager. Living in a Big City gave me all type of opportunities, negative/positive but with me not having any male role models or father figures beside guys that were doing anything to make money. It made it easy for me to add to the negativity in life. I was afraid of nothing under the sun besides my grandmother but now that I think about it, I respect for my grandmother more than feared her. It was the way she handled situations, the way she talked to me to let me know I was still a child and as a young man I had to be responsible for my actions.
It is still amazing to me how she was able to make me feel like such a special part in her life but also maintain a close knit family unit with her 13 children and so many other grand kids. Dorothy didn't allow excuses to be an option. She would explain a situation and help you understand the pros and cons of your actions. My grandmother was a Gentle Giant, she was the type of person you would go to when you knew you were in the wrong but wanted to get the correct guidance.
When my grandmother pasted away, I didn't know how to accept that lost of life. I was destroyed and didn't know how to control myself. I went off the deep end and became very violent. I felt betrayed and questioned why would my grandmother leave me in the Cold World alone. She was the only adult supervision/guidance I was willing to accept.
Although Camel cigarettes with no filters and Jack Daniels whiskey is the smell I relate with my grandmother but I also relate those smells with strength and independence.
I will always have a missing piece of myself because my Grandmother is physically no longer around but I try everyday to keep her spirit alive.
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