Whiskey & Cigarettes...

I am very proud to say I am the grandson of Delores "Dorothy" McDaniels! I say that cause I know I was a very difficult and uncontrollable teenager.  Living in a Big City gave me all type of opportunities, negative/positive but with me not having any male role models or father figures beside guys that were doing anything to make money.  It made it easy for me to add to the negativity in life.  I was afraid of nothing under the sun besides my grandmother but now that I think about it, I respect for my grandmother  more than feared her. It was the way she handled situations, the way she talked to me to let me know I was still a child and as a young man I had to be responsible for my actions.

It is still amazing to me how she was able to make me feel like such a special part in her life but also maintain a close knit family unit with her 13 children and so many other grand kids.  Dorothy didn't allow excuses to be an option.  She would explain a situation and help you understand the pros and cons of your actions.  My grandmother was a Gentle Giant, she was the type of person you would go to when you knew you were in the wrong but wanted to get the correct guidance.

When my grandmother pasted away, I didn't know how to accept that lost of life.  I was destroyed and didn't know how to control myself.  I went off the deep end and became very violent.  I felt betrayed and questioned why would my grandmother leave me in the Cold World alone.  She was the only adult supervision/guidance I was willing to accept.

Although Camel cigarettes with no filters and Jack Daniels whiskey is the smell I relate with my grandmother but I also relate those smells with strength and independence.

I will always have a missing piece of myself because my Grandmother is physically no longer around but I try everyday to keep her spirit alive.

We Fall Down!

I get tremendous inspiration from the song "We Fall Down" by Donnie McClurkin.  This song inspires me to go out on a limb and try anything that I think of.  The song tells us all that we do fall down but we get up so nothing can break you but yourself.  I think we all need motivation like this to let us know that even if we are not familiar with certain situations or when we fear our next challenge.  Go ahead and accept that challenge or attempt that situation and even if you fall, its OK and Get Back Up.  Maybe try it another way or come at it from different angle but don't worry about falling or failing cause you can get up from that small failed attempt.  I encourage everyone that read this blog to listen to the song at least once. I am not a big gospel person but its a very inspirational song and maybe the song can light that fire under you that you need to hurdle your next obstacle.

Procrastination of Education...

Why would I do something as simple as not apprecitate Education?  Its free, its all about building me as a person and I am not appreciating the fact that I can help myself and open many door ways but just being the best student I can be.  I am posting this blog 2 mins before the deadline because I am cheathing myself and I apologize the my class and especially my instructor.......I can't complain about not being where I want to be in life and cheating myself at the same time.

Education Open Doors!